PAN: To Live Life with Wings
by Cadence Hopkins
Summary: Story of two individuals Peter and Wendy, they each have a different view on the world, they are polar opposites, this story deals with different aspects of life and we get to see how they deal with problems that come with growing up. We might even possibly see love brought out by the two.
1. Dedication

Dedication

"Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting."

-J.M. Barrie

To the young at heart, and the young with mentally older minds, before we are born, God already has our hearts and souls in his mind. No two people are alike. Not even twins and triplets. However if one is to have more than one sibling, we can see a lot of ourselves in the other one. The essence of childhood glows bright, because we have a playmate. If one is an only child, we still find wonder in what we have around us. A doll, a truck, a bear, "a _shadow,"_ they have feelings and hurt just like we do. As children we learn these things. As children we choose to believe that while on a drive the moon follows our car. As children we tend to believe that the droplets of rain on the window are in a race with one another. To play, to laugh, but not to grow, growing old is mandatory whereas growing up is an option. Children know the world better than we give them credit for. They are more in touch with what matters most. Faith, trust, and pixie dust. In dreams, and in reality they enter worlds that are entirely their own. They can be whatever they choose. They can fly as far as their hearts desire. Today, those children that have become adults can still live this way, if they choose so. We all of us, can live this way. We can choose to be happy, we can choose who to be, and we're not somebody's broken puppet. Why should the moon stop following our cars, why should the droplets of rain on the window just become droplets of rain on the window? Playtime never really stops, we all want time to slow, and we want to have moments that last a lifetime. We can make this happen, but not by videos or old photographs. Keeping that childhood imagination alive and never surrendering to adulthood separates us from pain. We should never say goodbye to childhood. For when we say goodbye we are leaving it behind, and when we leave it behind, we forget it. We should never forget. Someday when we're older and are skin is worn and our hair is grey, we can still make time to play. When we float away, we can still play. From the time God made us, he had us planned out, and from the time we return to him, he will remember us for what we were. Children. We are all God's children. In our hearts and minds we will always be children. Our entire lives are made up of being that. We start out like that, and we end like that. When we enter the light, on the second star to the right, we remember we never have to grow up. For all children do, except…. One. May we follow the angel anywhere. It is to him and to the young I humbly dedicate.

-Cadence D. Hopkins


	2. Chapter 1:The Boy and the Shadow

Chapter 1: The Boy and the Shadow

In the middle of London England, the sky has lost its blue and a gloomy gray has taken its place. Much of England seems to be falling under its murkiness. People passing in the streets are hardly speaking today it seems. There is a bit of wind in the air, but not even it speaks to anyone. The air feels stagnant, and lonely. I speak as if these things, have feelings, and can think for themselves. I think this way, because without anyone else to talk to, I make up. I like playing pretend, however I don't call it that. I am who I choose to be. Today though, nothing is really coming to mind.

I currently reside on a bench in the middle of Kensington Gardens, sitting here in the darkness of the fog that surrounds what could be a beautiful place had the sun been shining today. On days like today, I just sit and watch the birds. Today I have seen several black birds fly over head. I saw an occasional Black Martin. I listen to the busy streets and tune out the noise by getting lost in whatever I can find to get lost in. I'm not naturally this disheartened, I am a free spirit, and I blow wherever the wind takes me and shine where the sun isn't. It's strangely dark today for some odd reason, though. Even though I am content. I feel as if something is missing. Since I do live life alone, perhaps it is family, love, trust, compassion. It's apparently necessary to have these things to live. I always thought food and water was enough. It's not that I don't want these things, nor can I not acquire them. It would not be too hard to find these things, but it would not be easy either. It's a little complicated. I believe, I think there was a mother. I'm pretty sure I had one. I want to say she was beautiful. Mothers are supposed to be I'm told. Fathers are supposed to be there too. That's how life works. However that's not how my life works. As far as I can remember I've been alone. Only because I choose to be. I don't want to be someone's mother or father. I want to be me. I want to be me being someone else. I want to be who I choose to be.

I want to be in the place that's between asleep and awake. I want to play. Something I cannot do, if I ever give in to what "they" want me too. "They" being those that I have seen go through it. I would watch person after person, time after time, grow taller, speak wiser, and forget what made them, "them." Many people will do it, it's sad. They lose what once was, in order to live life. That's some life, but it's not my life. As I sit here in the garden and over look my surroundings, I can sit and take in what life has to offer. Most cannot do that anymore. At least not many I know. That tree that used to be a tall castle to some is now once again just a tree. They tell me when is enough, enough, and someday playtime will stop. I cannot keep pretending that birds sing actual words. They all want me to grow up. "Grow up." It's a term that's used to cover up something else. The real words are "Forget Life." For when we do grow taller and speak wiser, and forget ourselves, we forget what matters in life. If we only live once why should we surrender to dying? Why should we place our old toys in a box in an attic and leave them. Why should a mother put away the baby book?

Our stories of the book don't end, we just run out of paper. The best thing about life is that we can buy more. We shouldn't have to stop being what we are. When I am bored, I go into the garden, I cover myself in Earth and pretend I am a carrot. I can be if I so choose so. We don't have to subject to forgetting our childhood. We cannot wait around for someone to define us. There will be times of doubt and times of hurt and sometimes times of crying tears of pure agony, because some hurts never go away, but we don't have to subject to that either. We can be happy. Every day when I wake up, I start thinking about how to spend the day. Every morning, starts a new page in our stories, we should make each day a great one. If we all must surrender, we're all in the same game, just at different levels, dealing with the same hell, just different devils.

I have learned that in the life we surrender too, perfection will never happen, people will fail you, love will fail you, betrayals will happen, loved ones will be lost, but life is too short to drown without water. It only hurts when we pretend it doesn't. When you the love the ones that treat you right, forget the ones that don't, it will get easier to smile again. We cannot surrender to the demons of maturity. When the demon won't let go, we won't let go. We cling to what we think is right. As children, what is right? We should live life without the dark. I have chosen to stand up to my demons. Life is too short to be anything but happy. To live would be the adventure of a lifetime, but how I chose to exist is an even bigger adventure. Every day is a new adventure, because I am whatever I choose to be. Today though even though I said nothing is coming to mind, I can sit and not be afraid of my own shadow, and speaking of my shadow, when I said I was alone. I am never really alone. My shadow is there always, if I can keep up with it. Wherever I go, I'm already there. In my world, I still find wonder in what I have around me. A doll, a truck, a bear, "a _shadow,"_ they have feelings and hurt just like I do. As children we learn these things. As me, a _small boy of 13, _my shadow is my friend. We do pretty much everything together. When I walk he's always behind me.

Only… today the sun is covered by a dark grey matter. I haven't seen him today. Even though I know he's still there, I wish I could see him. I stuff my hands into the pockets of my jacket. The air just became brittle. I look down wishing to see my shadow do the same gesture. As I stare at the ground, my bangs of my swept brown hair blow upward slightly from the wind. The wind, even though it's there doesn't talk like he normally does. It doesn't whisper that sweet whistle I'm used to. As I'm looking down I interlock my feet, and swing them back and forth under the bench. I hear a cry in the distance. A baby. That's a sweet sound. I begin to wonder what caused the cry. Perhaps its hunger, needs a changing, or it's…

_Lonely. _

As a baby, its imagination is at its largest peak. The world in the eyes of it, how sweet it must be. A mother's breast close to its face during that warm hug. The sound of a music box, what visions it inspires in the mind of that angel. What I would give to just search its mind, and look in its heart. The crying ceases. I smile. For after the cry comes a laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. However for the baby, it left me wondering what could have made it laugh. What's funny in the eyes of an angel. For the child is too young to understand the concept of comedy, and too old to not to be able to express amusement. Its laugh forced me to laugh.

The ominous day wasn't worth just sitting. I had to laugh the day off. I stood and made a run for the garden just laughing. Smiling looking up at the sky. A glimmer of light began to peak through the clouds. This made the sky look ancient. It was blue in places, and black in other parts.

Almost like smoke and mashed potatoes mixed with each other. The sun trying it's best to fight through the darkness, as I was in my own heart. Suddenly I began to see the sun fully. For a moment, my shadow chased me. I laughed again. I spread my arms out wide and pretended to fly. I was flying as high as my heart could take me. I was free. Nothing seemed as if it could stop my happiness. I fell over onto the grass. I toppled for quite some time. The grass collected on my jacket as I rolled. I just kept laughing. I was happy. As I sat in the middle of the garden and looked at the sky, the sun was smiling at me. I smiled back, placing my hand above my eyes. The light was bright. It was beautiful and it welcomed me. I could see a white aura casting itself through the beam. I felt its warmth. The first time since that morning began I looked to the side of me. My shadow rested there in the grass. I sat up and my shadow followed. We sat in the grass together. I placed my hand up in the air in order to hold the hand of my friend. I sat and embraced the day for what seemed like hours. Upon standing my legs hurt a bit. I dusted myself off and my shadow did the same. I laughed again. I smiled and began making my way back towards the bench. I looked up and saw a boy with curly hair waving at me.

"Peter! " He shouted.

My eyes shifted to meet his, and he shouted again.

"Come on Peter!"

I walked faster toward him and met him half way.

"Where on Earth have you been?" He asked.

"Everywhere." I replied.

He was confused by my response. I expected as much. I didn't expect him to understand. He was one of "them." However I didn't mind it. You are who you choose to be.

"Come on, we're late."

He quickly darted ahead of me, and I picked up a small rucksack from under the bench and draped it on my shoulder. I smiled and looked one last time at the sun. The sun smiled brightly now. I looked down slowly. Wondering, what it must be like, feel, like to live life with wings. I smiled at the thought, trying to believe I actually did.


	3. Chapter 2: The Girl and the Dream

Chapter 2: The Girl and the Dream

The house stands at 3 stories. A cozy Victorian house, house number 14. This house is much like the others on the street, each one the same, with a fence around every tree. Each house glued together. A layer of concrete and a row of chimneys separates them. A street gas lamp stands in the corner. The street stays very busy in the day time. An adventure is waiting for me just outside the door. The sun beams in through the 3rd story window. The light is captured on the bottom of the windowsill rather nicely. The paint is fresh. The white of the window is visible beneath the pink cloth curtains. The window is open and the curtains blow slightly inward. As they blow into the room ever so vaguely, it's as if the house was a superhero, and the curtains were the hero's cape. They sway back and forth. Blowing a slight breeze into the room, it welcomes me. However I am lost in my own little world. Here inside this room, is a child's wonderland. Here in the nursery. A bright shade of pink covers the walls. It is inviting. Toys, books, it's all here. It's a child's paradise. A small table in the middle of the room contains a variety of dolls, and dolls clothes. Near the center of the table, a miniature porcelain tea set gleams brightly. The room is filled with so much wonder, so many memories to me now. Three beds reside here: a large bed just for me, a smaller bed for my brother and a tiny crib just for my baby brother.

At one time this room was my adventure. At one time I could be whatever I wanted. My favorite thing to play was Mother. I doctored the bear in the corner, and took great care of the China doll on the shelf. However today is different. My 13th birthday party is next month. I'm prepared for it. I've been waiting on this day for quite some time. I've had dreams night after night of what kind of birthday party I would have. What I would wear. How I would look. I always thought myself plain. However this time next month as soon as the sun leaves the sky and the moon takes its place I will be beautiful. I've always been slender, with fair skin and rosy cheeks. My blue eyes always tend to sparkle. My mother calls me "Little Bright Eyes." It's not that I've seen myself as ugly, but I've come to understand that once you reach a certain age, you lose a part of you, the part you dislike most, and obtain what you want most. For example, I want to be tall, radiant, and glowing, to be fully grown physically and mentally.

Mentally? Hmm…

I adore fairy-tales. I love playing Princess. However I find that this is something that's just a phase in life. It's not realistic. What is realistic is what I want to be now more than anything else in the world. What I want to be is a mother. I want to be like my mother. Beautiful, loving, and compassionate. She's a woman, unlike any other. I want to be just like her. I find it rather enjoyable to be growing up. It's the adventure of a lifetime. I'll be able to meet new people, and become a classy individual. I will finally become one with society. I'll always want to play, however that's just what it is, playing. We can always make-believe.

We should never stop make-believing, but we all do need to "Grow Up." It's a term that's used to cover up something else. The real words are "Live Life." For when we do grow taller and speak wiser, and we become part of society everyone else lives. We become role models; we come somebody's mom or dad. We continue the cycle of life. Today I'm preparing for next month. I sit silently at a small vanity. I've run a small brush through my brown curly hair at least 30 times. I'm staring into the mirror. Within this mirror I can see, I don't have perfect teeth, I'm not stick thin, but I love myself. The happiest girls are the prettiest. I'm beautiful in my own right. I slowly pick up my mother's lipstick she allowed me to use. I apply the light pink color to my lips. It changes my appearance ever so slightly. I smile in spite of myself. It's a wonderful feeling. I am becoming what I want to be instead of pretending to be. I'll always dream, and I'll always love what, made me, "me." However I'm enjoying this. I'm not hiding behind this make-up. I'm not trying to hide. I'm enhancing myself to find someone out there who will love me, the way father loves mother. When I find love, I can make love, and have a child. Family is important. My two brothers John and Michael are everything. I was thankful to have them. I grew up fast, thanks to them.

It is because of them I want to be a mother. They have given me so much. (Meaning practice) I know how to comfort just like my mother. My dreams are coming true. Next month as the candles are lit, I won't know what to wish for. Everything I could have possibly had is happening now, and I cannot be any more excited for it.

"Wendy!"

Father calls. I wonder what ails him to call me.

"Coming Father." I reply back.

I take one last look at the mirror before picking up the lace of my dress and exiting the room.

"Yes Father?"

I enter the dining room and take a sit near John.

"Breakfast dear."

A lovely breakfast has been prepared, just on top of the white tablecloth, an assortment of food: cereal, toast, bacon, baked beans, sausage, black pudding, muffins, and tea. It all looks wonderful.

"Oh it looks delicious!"

My father begins grumbling to himself as he glances over the paper. My father who _is_ a full grown adult, I can never understand his unhappiness sometimes. I tend to overlook it. I never bother with politics or religion. I focus on the love, and family, that comes with being an adult, which I am or at least will be next month. I have come to accept life, and I am thankful for this food that is in front of me, and I'm thankful for the family I have to share it with. I can only hope that I add to the family in some way. As I butter John's toast for him, my mother smiles at me. I smile back.

"You look lovely, this morning dear."

"Thank you Mother!" I replied with a smile.

She smiles back. How grand of my mother to think so. Our mornings are normally quiet, unless the stocks upset Father. He always talks about the stocks being up or the stocks being down. It's a normal topic for breakfast. However this morning, was something a little different. My birthday party! My mother wanted to know what kind of cake I wanted, and who I was to invite. I knew this was a party. However this wouldn't be a party of balloons, and funny party games. I wanted this party to be a very formal dinner. I wanted to have my closest friends there, in their best dress. At the party I wanted to have a cake of course, but besides blowing out the candles to make a wish, I wanted to make a toast. A toast to a long life, a toast to becoming a woman. A toast to reaching my new dream. It was all overwhelming but I welcomed it so. The adventure of a lifetime, my lifetime how beautiful it all was.


	4. Chapter 3: Blood Brothers

Chapter 3: Blood Brothers

Just outside the high society class of England is where I live. Others live in large houses, they have large families. They all want the same thing. Jobs, money, everything you would need to raise a family. However where I come from that's not the case. We go where we please, and stand up for each other. Where I come from, family is everything. We share everything. In my family you don't have to be related by blood. In my mind, we are. If you are who you choose to be, than I choose to be "their" brother. There are eight of us, myself included. A small old rundown apartment stands at two stories, here in Bloomsbury England. I say rundown, but with some paint, some new wood, it would look brand new. It is home. I left early that morning to the gardens, I didn't realize it was so close to lunchtime when I arrived back home. I was lost in my head, had it not been for David, I wouldn't of come home until the nightfall. David and I have been together for most of our lives. He found me, and I found him. It started when I was very small.

Not too far from here near Buckingham Palace is where I met David. I believe I was 3. I toddled my way down the street. As I have said, I believe I had a mother, and father, but I try not to relive the past too much. The past isn't worth crying over, the future isn't something to be stressed about, and the present should be beautiful. As a child, a baby, I learned there are two kinds of people in this world. People that will help you, and people that caused the need for the help. When I was three years of age, I was toddling along the street, I stopped because I heard someone crying. I looked around. As a child my imagination was at its peak. I believed the crying person to be a bird that needed help, and I was to save it. The sobs were so small and innocent sounding. I walked farther. I came across a boy smaller than me, but he had an aura about him. I sensed it when I walked up. I sensed we were destined to become friends. He was sitting on the ground. He had on brown pants, and a white shirt. He was dirty. As a child I wasn't about to judge him, and I don't judge people today. I didn't care. I sat down beside him, and did the only thing I could have done. I hugged him. I held him tightly. He held me back. It was as if he had never been hugged before. As we hugged I felt his warmth, and his spirit lift. It was strange, but I did feel it. I felt his heart in my hand. The heart had learned to love again. I wiped his tears away and looked at him.

"Why are you cryin?" I asked.

He looked at me. His face was red from all the crying. His eyes bloodshot, his clothes stained with his tears. His face wet. In the moonlight, and by the light of the gas lamp, his eyes glittered in the darkness. He was so hurt. So _lost…._

He was a lost boy that's what he was. His parents had left him. Both gone, never to be seen again. He tried to contain himself. I felt my eyes watering. I just sat next to him and helped him cry. However the crying turned to laughter when I began to tell jokes. Life is too short to be anything but happy. I touched his hand and pulled him up. He smiled at me. I smiled back.

"Come with me." I said softly.

I took his hand. We ran off together. I can't remember where. We've been all over. Ever since that night, ever since we found each other, we never left each other's side. He's not necessarily my "favorite" out of all my brothers, but if I was ever in trouble, if I ever needed someone to be there when I just needed a laugh. David would be the one. The one I would want to talk too. We've been several different people. Our favorite game was always playing Pirate. David also had this tune he whistled. It was a sweet innocence sound. I loved hearing it. I still love hearing it. He's such a happy soul now. He changed that night. The hurt left, and now David always smiles. That… makes me smile. As I said when we arrived back at the apartment it was lunchtime, we were late as David said. Late because it was our turn to get food. We had some bread to give among everyone. When we entered they let us have it! They always act as if they're starving to death. I mean… sometimes we do, but it's not for always. Things like that don't last forever. As I said there are eight of us. Slightly, Tootles, Nibs, Curly, the twins, David, and me. David and I don't know the real names of these boys, but we've always been told that is their real names, as far as we know. Slightly, is just that, he is a sly fox, a slippery little minx. He's always talking about how he remembers his parents. We often wonder if he'll leave us and go back to them, but he says he can't remember what they look like, just that he remembers them. Tootles, is always getting in to trouble. He has a way of doing things. He's also the shortest of all of us. Nibs has to be one of the bravest souls I have ever met. One time he ran up to Scotland Yard, and threw something just for the thrill of the chase. He's never gotten caught. He's also entered a burning building to rescue a small child. He'll do anything for anybody, especially me. Curly seems to always get into trouble he can never get out of. He loves food as well. He was the one that did most of the yelling when David and I entered the room. The twins, now, we can't remember their names, but they always respond to "The Twins" and they normally respond together. Sometimes after each other. They even repeat and finish each other's sentences. The twins are the youngest out of all of us. We really look out for the both of them. However we pretty much always look out for each other.

We all came to be by sheer circumstance, or fate if you will. We've never used the term "orphan" in fact we don't consider ourselves orphans, just lost in the world. Trying to figure out where it is we belong. We don't really need a mother or a father to be a family. We are family. We are brothers. We'll always be brothers. Always. Sadly I'll always be their brother, even if they grow up. How I'd hate to see the day. David especially. He's been showing signs of it. I've tried to overlook it. It's hard sometimes. He told me once how great it would be to work in an office somewhere, be somebody. Maybe even start a family. This though is something I do not understand. Why would you want to start a family, when you have one? I don't doubt David. He'll probably make a wonderful father, but for some reason, no matter where I go, no matter what I do, when I finally find love, a home, a person I can tell anything to, a window that's open to the soul, someday soon, the window closes. I'm always on the outside looking in. However that is what I choose. I believe that if I were to have this things, to be like "them." I would have to surrender. I won't ever. So I'll be there watching always. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it. It doesn't hurt so badly. It only hurts when you pretend it doesn't. I actually enjoy watching. I have witnessed the birth of a child. I have seen a man slip a ring on a woman's finger, I have seen an elder lady in her rocker slip away from the world. I have seen greatness in the world, I have seen miracles, and I have also seen darkness. I believe though the secret to having everything is realizing you already do. I have my "Lost Boys" I have my blood brothers. What more could I want?

Sitting now on a window pane, I look out from our small apartment, which by the way I forgot to mention has an amazing view. I can see Big Ben from here, the bridge. The sky. It's all so wonderful. See, from my own little window, looking out on the world, why would you want to shut the window? I'm hungry but I'm not eating tonight. My brother's deserve all the food they can get. They have made me happy in ways I never thought possible. I'm sitting here just watching them chow down on their food, staring, smiling. Thanking God, I have them. What a nice little family. It's mine. All mine. The breeze blows in and my hair blows up a bit. I like the way it feels when the breeze hits my face. It's almost like I'm flying. Oh what I would give to fly. I fly all the time in my heart. I just want to touch the clouds and shake hands with a star. Stars need love to. They light the way, but they are like me, they stay in one spot, and look at the world. I wonder what it looks like from their point of view.


	5. Chapter 4: When Peter met Wendy

Chapter 4: When Peter met Wendy

The morning started off with the sun in my face. I arose from the window pane. I had been there all night. The sun was smiling rather bright this morning. It made me smile. I moved my arm out from under me. It hurt do to so. My legs were stove up. I had to move around a bit. I stretched for a long period of time and then David gave a whistle. I looked up rather quickly. It was a quiet whistle so not to wake the other boys. He smiled at me.

"Let's go get some breakfast." He said.

I nodded. We left the small apartment rather quietly and then once outside we laughed. We always did this in the morning. Most wouldn't understand the joke, and to be honest, there wasn't one. We laughed because we were happy to be alive as I said, every day when I wake up, I start thinking about how to spend the day. Every morning, starts a new page in our stories, we should make each day a great one. David pushed me and I pushed him back. Mere play in the early morning. He took me under his arm and we walked down the street to see what the world had in store for us today. I smiled at him. He smiled back. We continued walking and stopped in front of a large gate. Behind this gate was something that David and I have never stepped foot in. A school. I walked closer to the gate and slowly touched it. David's eyes never left me. I knew education was important. However I believe I have what I need to know. I can walk correctly, speak correctly, but most importantly above all other things, I can read. I'm the only one of us who can. I've read many things, but one thing I enjoy reading above all other stories, is the scripture. There's a lot of tales in there of different adventures, adventures of a lifetime. It makes me smile when I read it, there is a character in the scripture, a special character who gave his life for God's children. He must have been really something.

"Peter?"

David walked in closer behind me and we both just stared at the school. We weren't thinking how lucky those children are. What it must be like to be surrounded by concrete. Placed in an atmosphere of nothing but study. David and I study the world in different ways. We live it. Hoping to get our names in the history books, we walked away slowly. I took one look back and continued walking. In the wee hours of the morning, standing in the middle of the city is quite extraordinary, a wonderful cacophony of scents can fill your nose. It's almost schizophrenic. On the side you have the smell of the ocean – you can smell brine and something very fresh and herbaceous and leafy with this wonderful undercurrent of warm, cosseting curdled milk from the cheeses. You can smell the exotic blooms, fresh coffee, deep-fried tiger prawns and fresh-baked cupcakes. Cupcakes, those sound wonderful for breakfast. David and I knew where to find them. A bakery stood proud at the end of the corner. Just past the school, 6 blocks from where we lived. We could always smell the aroma of his baked goods. The bakery was also rather nice to us. A Scots fellow, looking for work in England, found it about 6 years ago.

"Aye! Pete'ur, Davvid!" He shouted. "Wha cannae git ya?"

David and I entered rather slowly and the baker walked over to us with a fresh patch of cupcakes, and a loaf of bread.

"Hold on weel ya…I got somethin' else fur ye."

He placed the food in a small bag and handed the bag to David. He then went to the back and took out a small jug of milk.

"You cannae eat your truffles of goodies, without somethin' to drink."

"Thank you sir!" David said in excitement. He must have been hungry.

"Aye, Pete'ur Piper, you're lookin' a wee bit lost this morn…You alright laddie?"

In my mind I am never lost. I shook my head and the baker smiled. David and I thanked him and left. On our way back to the apartment, the school let out. It was recess. We walked slowly past the gates again. I stopped and looked in. Sitting upon a swing was a girl. She had brownish-blonde hair. It was all tied back out of her face. She was reading something. She looked up and waved at one of the other girls. Her smile was rather lovely. It forced me to smile. She looked as if she was enjoying herself, but for some reason I could sense something hurtful in her soul. In her eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes, I could see a lot inside of them. I stared long and hard at her. Trying to read her. She flipped a page. One the ground beside her feet, two small boys. One was smaller than the other. I assumed they must be her brothers. The smallest one had a stuffed bear and he held it close to his heart. He had a friend. I looked to the side, my shadow looked back at me. I could understand the small one. I looked back. The other boy was a little taller, but he was doing the same as the girl, reading. The small one let out a laugh. I smiled. He was gone. He was flying. I'm not even sure who he was in that moment. He could have been anybody he wanted to be. He seemed so content, so happy. As I looked on, David placed his hand on my shoulder. I took one look at David and then back at the girl.

"David?" I asked. "Do you know who that is?"

"No… sorry."

"That's alright."

"Why Peter?" He asked.

I shook my head. I didn't know. I just wanted to get to know her. She looked so much like an Angel. The only girl to gain my attention out of everyone at the school. She was lovely, and looked lost. Like me. I leaned on the gate and just continued to stare. I was lost in the lace of her dress. My eyes traveled from her shoes to her face. I studied her face. Trying to figure out what made her different than the others. The more I began to stare the more I began to realize, she was like one of "them." I could tell by looking. She was ready to surrender. It almost hurt to look now. Why would a creature so beautiful, so full of life want to give it all up. She wants to be a mother I suppose. I could tell by the way she talked and touched her brothers. Her voice even. It was so small. So innocent. Her innocence was tainted. She was hiding behind a book. She was trying so hard to sound more mature than she was. It hurt. My heart really did. I became transfixed on her. I was in completely bewilderment when suddenly:

BARK!

David jumped. I looked down. A large Saint was staring at me

BARK!

David took a step back, I got on my knee near the dog's face.

"Hey pup, I suppose I've offended you somehow."

I reached in between the bars of the gate and petted the beast. That Saint enjoyed that.

"Nana!" a small voice called.

I got to my feet. Upon standing our eyes met. She stared at me for a long time and I stared at her. She smiled. It was as if she was the only person in the world. The sunlight beamed down on her. She was almost glowing. The moment she smiled, I smiled.

"Nana?" I asked.

"Yes, she's our Nana."

Her voice continued to puzzle me but made me smile at the same time.

"And you are?" David asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, please forgive me, I'm Wendy, Wendy Moira Angela Darling."

David smiled at her.

"That's a lovely name Wendy, I'm David, and this is Peter."

She smiled at me.

"It's nice to meet the both of you."

She paused for a brief moment and stared at me.

"You seem…."

My eyes never left hers. I seemed what? Before she had time to finish the teachers were rounding up the students.

"Oh, I supposed I should go, It was lovely to meet you David, and you too Peter."

She and Nana walked away from the gate. Her hair bounced as she ran back towards the swing and picked up her book. I watched as she was the last one to enter the building.

"Peter…come on."

David pulled me away and we made our way back to the apartment. The boys were up and were chasing each other around the room. I slowly walked over to the window. I couldn't get the vision of her out of me head. She needed my help. I need to tell her to show "them" the difference between what they think she is and what she could be. She could be anything she wanted. Anything. I sat on the window pane and looked out. Before sitting I took out my pan flute from my pocket. This pan flute has been with me for as long as I can remember. Before the lost boys I managed to teach myself to play it.

"Peter?"

It was Slightly.

I didn't answer I only looked at him.

"Are you not going to eat anything?"

I shook my head and began to blow softly into the pan flute. The lost boys exchanged glances and David walked over to me with a cupcake. He placed it on the window seat where I could reach it. I looked at him.

"What's wrong Peter?" He asked. "You don't play that thing unless you're upset."

"I'm not upset, I never get upset…life is too short to get upset David…."

He nodded, I assumed he agreed with me. I continue to blow softly as David looked on.

"Well, I'm taking the boys to the garden, will we see you there?"

"I'll be a long."

He nodded again and patted my shoulder. The boys ate their fill. Curly even took some with him and stuffed them in his pockets.

"Later Peter!"

"Bye Pete!"

"See you soon Peter!"

They all shouted one by one. I heard my name twice. One right after another as the door slowly closed. The twins I assume. As soon as the room grew quiet, I looked to the sky. I began to blow into the pan flute. A began to play a song that I called "Wendy Bird." As I blew, visions of Wendy formed in my mind. I began to see her in several places around the room. Her face captured in the sun. She danced around the apartment. I kept seeing her hair bouncing away as she ran back to the swing. I kept seeing her smile. Her white teeth glittered under those false red lips. The lipstick taking her beauty away. As I continued to play, I felt my eyes glitter. I felt sorry for her. A mere child, her face still full of her baby like wonder. Captured inside her heart was the life of a dove turning crow. Trapped in a world of adulthood. Trapped in the atmosphere of a scholar. Waiting for the day to play mother. However, as a child we play mother and father, as an adult we become that, and that is all we can be. Knowing that once she surrendered, believing that a "mother" is all she wanted to be when she could be anything forced the tears to fall. I continued to blow even though I could no longer see. My breath trembled over the pipes. The sound became shaky as the tears blinded me. Through my pain I continued to play. I looked up to the sky. The clouds followed each other rather slowly. I stopped playing and just stared at them. My face wet. I wiped up under my nose and sat up. I decided right then, I was going to teach her how to fly in her heart. Instead of the garden, I went back to the school and waited. Waited until I saw her again.


	6. Chapter 5: The Boy at the Fence

Chapter 5: The Boy at the Fence

Later that evening after I left school. I had John and Michael in each hand. Nana followed behind, watching our every moves. I kept thinking about the boys at the fence. Especially the one with the child-like eyes. Those eyes were so beautiful. His smile was so white. His teeth perfectly straight. He had an aura around him. I kept wondering if I would ever see him again. He was just so perfect to me. He did have on a brown jacket that need sewing and some trousers that were dirty. His hair was shaggy but it looked soft. He seemed as if he didn't have a care in the world.

He seemed as if he didn't have a fear. He didn't turn away from Nana when she jumped at him. He didn't seem like he would have any trouble growing up. I pray he grows up to be a nice business man. I pray he becomes wealthy, and lives life to the fullest. Perhaps when I see him again he'll ask me for my hand. He'll take me in. Place a ring on my finger. It sounded so wonderful. When I entered my house I passed my mother on the stairs. I was so transfixed on that boy I didn't see her.

"Wendy?"

I turned at the sound of my name.

"I made a guest list for you."

"Thanks Mother." I replied. With a smile I twirled my way up the stairs into the nursery.

I couldn't stop thinking about that boy. About Peter. He was so perfect. I'm not one to judge people. I could never. I didn't care where he came from, I was just glad to see him today. It was something different. Something unique. I could hardly pay attention to my studies as the classes drew on and on. I put on my party dress and dabbed a pit of powder on my face. I added more lipstick, and then placed one of my mother's bracelets on my wrist. I danced around the room and just pretended to dance with that boy. The perfect one. I kept thinking about what a wonderful husband he would make. I was falling madly in love. However I didn't want to fall for him, I wanted to fly with him. I wanted him to take me from the school, and marry me. Marry me and never let me go. We could fly wherever we wanted. We could be together forever, and raise a family. The feeling was so strange.

I've never felt this before, for anyone. I wanted to see him again. I had to see him again. With a sigh I fell on my bed into my sheets. I grabbed the pillow and held it tightly. Suddenly I had an idea.

I jumped from the bed and leapt from room and ran downstairs to my mother. I took the guest list from her.

"Is that fine dear?" My mother asked. "The list?"

"Of course mother, but there's one person I want to add."

"Oh really…who?"

"His name is Peter."

"Peter?" My mother questioned.

I nodded unaware that I was blushing just saying his name. My mother smiled. She knew I was falling hard.

"Peter is it, well it's your party dear, did you met him today?"

"Yes mam."

"At school?"

"Yes mam, at the fence."

"The fence?"

"He was standing there, staring at me, and smiling, oh mother his smile…he really is lovely."

"Wendy… I…I don't think you can invite him."

I turned and looked at her.

"What?"

"Well, Wendy… he doesn't go to school it seems, you can't invite him if you can't find him…"

"I'll find him mother, and I'll invite him personally…. I have to have him come to my party, I have too."

I rushed up the stairs into the nursery. I shut the door and looked down at my list. I kept thinking about what I said. Only friends I said. Well, Peter is my friend, in fact I think we could become very good friends, perhaps something more. I slowly held the list to my heart and fell to my knees. Mother has told us there are children out there who are less fortunate. Most can't afford school, or a home. Most don't have a home. They don't even have a mother or a father. These children are very different than we are, mother says. The lifestyle they live is different. They could be dangerous no matter how nice they look. I trust mother. However the thought of not seeing Peter at my party, broke my heart. It wasn't fair. She was right though, I've never seen him, except today, what are the odds I'll see him again. Regardless I wrote his name at the bottom and placed a heart by the r. My love would come. He had too. I didn't care what he looked like, or what life he lived, he had to come. According to 1 Peter 4:8 what we do in life, above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Even if his lifestyle was different, we are all God's children, and everyone needs love.


	7. Chapter 6: Fly with Me

Chapter 6: Fly with Me

I followed Wendy to a 3 story house. I stared at the house for a long time. How wonderful it must be to live inside. What secrets, what stories the walls hold? The family that living inside, seemed content. Warm. Compassionate. They seemed as if they didn't have a care in the world. As long as they had each other what more could they want. I began to climb the side of the house. There wasn't much to grab on to. However, I've been climbing all my young life. I try to get to really high places so I can look out on the world. It's hard to see everything when you're down below. I managed by grabbing the brick. I got to the second story window, and made my way to the third. As I climbed I kept thinking about Wendy. Her life here. My brain fashioned a story.

This story was the story of Wendy. How she came to be. How proud her mother must have been to hold her for the first time. The first breath she took being a gift from God. I imagined her being wrapped in a pink blanket. Her small fragile hands trying to grasp the air, trying to hang on to love. I imagined the first time she cried. Her first broken heart over the loss of a bottle. I sped up the story to about the age of 2. Her hair still bouncing behind her, just shorter. For when she grows in height it will grow in length. I finally reached the 3rd story window. I looked in. It was a nursery I was welcomed by it. So many toys, so many colors. It was a paradise. It made me smile. I was looking into Wendy's room. A person's room can say a lot about them. However I couldn't find any sign of Wendy's persona in the room. It was as if she was here once, perhaps in a dream. Now she has left it. Left it for her brothers. However they can't make much use of the room without the person that made it what it was. The first born child. The eldest. Wendy. I looked to the door. She was there! On her knees. She appeared to be praying. I didn't know what she was praying for. She didn't speak her thoughts aloud, but I could take a wild guess.

She was leaving her childhood behind. She was praying to have a better life as an adult. As an adult! What could be better than this? I looked around the room again. Suddenly the sun appeared again, and my shadow revealed himself to me. When he did he appeared at the door by Wendy. She looked up and quickly turned. She didn't look afraid of me. She smiled and ran towards me.

"Oh Peter!" She screamed. "It is so lovely to see you again, I thought about you a lot since I left school, and I wanted to invite you to my birthday party, but mother said it would never work out, and I know you must be an orphan but that doesn't matter to me, I really want you to-"

As she spoke, I just watched her lips. The red of the lipstick glimmered over the white pearls in her mouth. I looked her in the eyes. She was still talking but it was as if I could no longer hear her. She became inaudible as I stared at her. I soon realized a key fact. She was ugly. I mean, with that lipstick, and with that powder on her face. She wasn't herself. She was so different. She was trying so hard to be something she wasn't. It was just sad. I looked down then I looked her in the eyes. She was still talking. We just met today, what more could she have to say.

"And I thought maybe you wouldn't want to come, but you will won't you?"

I looked confused as that was all I heard. I nodded.

"Now my party isn't until next month, but I'm so glad you can come!"

She smiled wide and I smiled back. She almost blushed. What did I do? I only smiled.

"How did you find me Peter?"

"I followed you, if that's okay…because I had to-

"See me again?"

She finished the sentence for me. I nodded. She smiled again.

"I had to see you too, I'm so glad you followed me, and you are quite the climber…. But you could have just used the front door…"

I let out a small laugh.

"No that's fine… I like climbing."

"I could tell."

Things between us went silent for a moment as she stared into my eyes. I stared into hers. She closed her eyes and leaned toward me. I backed away and turned my head rather quickly. What was she trying to do? Girls are really confusing or at least this one moves rather quickly. I looked at her again and she smiled. Suddenly and idea struck me.

"Wendy?"

"Yes?"

I took her by the hand and pulled her over to the bed. I sat her down and looked at her. She looked puzzled at first, then I took out my flute.

"Let me play you something."

"Alright." She said with a smile. She seemed highly interested. I smiled back. There was a blush again from ear to ear on her face.

"This song is called "Wendy Bird."

"Oh how lovely."

I began to blow softly. Her eyes became transfixed on me as I blew. The sound echoed in the nursery. Her smile grew as I played. I smiled slightly as I blew into the pipes. Upon finishing the song, her smile faded away. Not that she hated my playing, but she was lost in it. Her mind was gone. Visions must have found their way into her head. I looked at her and sat next to her on the bed.

"That was beautiful." She said softly.

"A beautiful song, for a beautiful girl."

She turned and blushed again.

"Wendy."

She quickly looked at me.

"What if I told you, you don't have to grow up, would you believe me?"

Her eyes stared long and hard into mine. At first I sensed confusion from her.

"We all must grow up Peter…It's a part of life."

I sighed and stood up.

"On the outside, you're going to grow up Wendy, you're going to grow up and bear a child."

I got on my knees in front of her.

"You're hair, it's going to turn grey, and your body is going to leave the Earth one day."

Her eyes never left mine and she slowly nodded.

"That's true, Peter…but that is life, we all grow up, we have children, they grow up…It's what we must do."

"No you don't understand…. That will happen, all of it… life will continue… but what I'm telling you is that you don't have to grow up… inside your heart…."

"What are you trying to say Peter?"

I sighed again and stood up.

"Come with me."

"What?"

"Come with me, and I'll try to show you what I mean."

Wendy stood up and backed away. She was now afraid of me. She was uncertain.

"Wendy…I won't hurt you…"

I slowly held out my hand to her.

"Wouldn't you love to have one last day of a playtime, then a lifetime of never playing again?"

She looked at my hand and then slowly reached out to it.

"You can be whatever you choose to be not just now but…you can be whatever you choose to be… always….with faith and trust….I promise you'll be safe with me."

She slowly touched my palm. I gently grasped her hand in my mine. Trying to be as delicate as I could with her fragile hand. Almost as if I was holding a child.

"I…I shall met you outside…. Where are we going Peter?"

"The fun is in the mystery."

I smiled and let go of her hand and walked over to the window.

"I'll see you."

She smiled and nodded. I began my descend down the side of the house. When I reached the bottom I stood by the front door and just waited. As I waited I began to question if I could really save her from being one of "them." I looked up at the window.

Suddenly I heard the door unlock in front of me. Wendy stepped out. She had removed her make-up. The lipstick was gone. I had never seen a more beautiful creature. I smiled.

"I told mother I was going to the mail my birthday invites…and told her I wouldn't be back until sunset because I was going shopping for a new party dress. She gave me a bit of money."

"We won't need money where we're going."

She gave a shy smile and I held out my hand again. I never wanted to just grab her hand. I waited patiently until she took mine. Like before she took my hand in hers. I smiled and pulled her from the steps by the front door. We were off. I was flying with Wendy. I would occasionally look behind me and she would look at me. Her eyes didn't look frightened. Sometimes she would smile and I would smile back. Over the stones, I carried her away from the people. Away from all the noise, smell and taste of the city. Away from the smog. We climbed up a hill overlooking the metropolis. We could see everything. The people were like black specks, ants to us. It was as if we were overlooking the world from high above, on a cloud. I turned her around so she could face the city, face the world. She was drawn to the city at first.

"Oh Peter its lovely!"

I looked at her. She was smiling at the town. The adult in her heart would surely be the death of her. I stood behind her and placed my head near her right ear.

"Look closer Wendy." I whispered.

She squinted. She was still looking at the city.

I pointed to the hills and the clouds and the landscape in the distance.

"Look there."

Her eyes shifted.

I pointed.

"There's a whole world out there Wendy, when you're an adult you become part of it….as a child you get to live it, you can be whatever you choose to be, and you never have to stop…You can dance forever, fly forever, the world is never ending, the child in your heart should also be never-ending."

She slowly looked at me. Her eyes studied my face.

"Make yourself a Neverland."

She smiled.

"You seem…" She paused again.

Once again that same phrase.

"I seem what… Wendy?"

"Peaceful…. Like an Angel….."

I smiled. I gave her a push and she screamed. I laughed. She pushed me back. She began to chase me. I chuckled again, this time she did too.

"Come on Wendy…what do you want to be?!" I shouted.

"When I grow up?" She shouted back.

"No!" I shouted.

Falling over backwards I rolled in the grass and she fell on top of me. She giggled.

"I mean… what do you want to be right now?"

She looked up and then back down. Trying to think.

"Anything?" She asked.

"Anything!" I shouted.

She smiled wide.

"A princess!" She screamed.

"A princess?"

I gave a laugh and got to my feet. I then held out my hand and took hers.

"Well, Princess Wendy, you look lovely this afternoon."

"Why thank you."

She bowed toward me. I bowed toward her.

Hours passed, and in those moments, I was a Pirate, I was a King, I was a God. Wendy was Princess, She was a Fairy, and she was an Angel. We weren't Peter and Wendy anymore. We were what we chose to be. The sun began to set as we talked. Suddenly the sun was gone, and the stars began to wink at us. I laid back on the grassy patch of dirty near a tree and Wendy sat down next to me. We began to watch the stars. We made up names for them. We made up a story. Today we made a new story. A new chapter in both our lives. Wendy finally seemed like herself. She was finally happy. Finally free.

I looked up at the night sky and stared lovingly at it. Thinking about flying again. Unaware to me was that Wendy was staring at me lovingly. I couldn't tell what she was thinking. It was the same look back at the nursery. She blushed and turned away when I looked at her. I took out my pan flute and laid back on the tree and began to play her song. She smiled and strangely laid back on me. She placed her head on my chest. I tried to ignore her gestures and kept playing.

"What do you want to be when you grow up Peter?" She whispered.

"I don't." I said softly. She sat up and looked at me and then slowly placed her head back on my chest.

"What do you want to be Wendy?"

"Right now?" She asked.

"Yes…right now."

"Right now…." She said with a yawn. Someone was getting tired.

"Right now, I want to be with you."

I blinked and looked at her. She smiled. I slowly placed my pan flute down on the ground and she took my hand in hers. Her fingers interlocked with mine. She moved up a bit and placed her head on my shoulder. I slowly placed my head on top of hers.

"You don't want to be with me Wendy." I whispered. She was half asleep.

"Hmmm….Why not Peter?"

Soon she was asleep and was unable to hear my answer.

"Because I'm better off alone." I whispered and pulled her hair back behind her ear. "To love you would be to surrender, to surrender would mean I would give up what I love for who I love…"

She was unable to hear any of that and slept soundly on my shoulder. Peaceful. Like a child. She was so innocent, so delicate. A little flower in God's great garden. However like the rest she will be picked. Like all the other flowers, she will be plucked and will begin to droop down and then enter a new world. I will reside, in the lonely garden, I will gain plenty of sunshine and water, but will remain bound to the soil I was born in forever. The hours I spent with Wendy. The moments we shared. Perhaps will show her to show the world the difference between who she is, and who she can be. She will grow up. She will be beautiful. She will be loved.

But she will be loved, by someone that is not…

"Me…" I spoke out loud. With the strength I had I slowly picked her up and carried her home, believing Wendy may grow up, but she will grow up with wings on her heart.


	8. Chapter 7: The Accident

Chapter 7: The Accident

I carried her bridal style almost all the way back to her house. I only stopped a few times to adjust my grip on her, so I wouldn't drop her. The light was on at house when I walked up with Wendy. Wendy was sleeping so wonderful, but I had to wake her.

"Wendy….wake up…."

Her eyes slowly opened and she smiled at me. I slowly placed her feet on the ground. She looked at me.

"I had a wonderful time with you today…I can't wait until you come to my birthday party."

I nodded.

"Well Goodnight Wendy…." I smiled.

She smiled back. She rushed up to the door of her house and turned. She gave a shy wave and I waved back. When she entered the house. It grew quiet. I placed my hands in my pockets and began walking back to the apartment. The night drew on. As if a black blanket had been draped over the world. A few gas lamps were even asleep. As I walked I kicked a stone. Hoping I did the right thing today. She seemed happy. She seemed different. I smiled at the thought of remembering all we did today. How much fun it is to be someone you not. Just to live life and take in everything God has to offer. It was a magical feeling. I felt happy and began running. I smiled crazily as I ran. Today went perfect. My deed, what I did for Wendy is what I want to do when I grow up. For thousands of others, I just want to make people happy. I smiled wider and just kept running. The moonlight beamed down on me. My shadow ran a long side me.

"Hey Shadow!" I yelled.

I heard what sounded like a house and carriage in the distance. I just pretended it was a wild beast, and I was a hero who would soon stop it. I laughed in spite of myself. I was lost in my head until I heard a scream in the distance. I stopped and looked up. A couple of people were gathered in the middle of the street. From where I was standing I could see several of the lost boys. All of them, except one. I heard the woman scream again. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. When I reached the crowd of people I couldn't see anything. Slightly had a twin on his shoulders. Curly had the other on his so they could see. They were crying.

"Slightly?"

I grabbed his arm and he looked at me.

"What is it?" "What has happened?" I questioned. My voice grew louder with each passing question.

"It…its David, Peter." Curly piped in. He could hardly speak through his tears. "We…we're only playing Peter."

"Yeah only playing Peter."

"Only playing." Tootles spoke out.

"Playing?" I questioned. "What happened?"

"We… we're playing a game…. David was supposed to be the villain…. He was chasing us when the coach came around the corner….." Slightly replied. His voice was shaky and the tears began to run down his face. I couldn't cry in front of them. I gently moved past the people. They had their eyes on David. There on the cold ground, among the cobblestones, David's shoulder was pinned down to the ground by the broken wheel. His blood was bright and no one was trying to stop it as it ran. They only looked on. How could they grow to care for him now anyway? If the wheel was to be removed, David would die. Either way he would….

I shook the thought away and got on my knees next to him. I was the only one to do so. He looked at me.

"Peter?" He said softly. "Is that you?"

I smiled at him.

"It's me."

He smiled.

"You always come when I need you the most."

I stifled a laugh as he spoke. It wasn't funny, but I was trying not to cry. He lifted one hand. The only arm he could use.

"Where's my hug?" He said breathless. I began to shake. I knew the tears would fall soon. I slowly laid down next to him and placed my head near his and he wrapped that arm around me. Like when we met. I hugged him. I felt his spirit lift. I arose from him and just held his hand.

"Peter."

"What David?"

It was getting harder to talk.

"I'm not a lost boy anymore."

I bit my lip as my eyes began to glitter.

"No…. you're free…. You…You get to fly before I do."

David smiled and let out a grunt as he tried to move.

"Stay still David."

I began to feel the tears reach the corners. I was fighting so hard to keep them away.

"I promised I would never leave you….and you should always know, wherever you may go, no matter where you are, I never will be far away." David spoke out softly.

"Don't speak of it David."

His time was growing short. Soon he would slip away from me. Soon he would join the sky and fly. Fly higher than I could ever reach.

"Peter…"

He let out a cough and his hand began to slip from my mine.

"There…there's so many things I want to say to you….but…. David…..Someday we'll all be gone, but children, David they never die, that's how you, and I will be….okay…. "

He gave a smile even though his eyes were closed.

"Time to go to sleep David….sleep…and dream….and please…."

Suddenly his hand dropped from mine and David was gone. I couldn't keep the tears in any longer. The fell and I couldn't get them to stop falling. My face grew red as I sobbed.

"David….please…..Don't forget me." I said through my tears. I placed my forehead on his. My brother was gone. Apart of my heart joined him. He suddenly went from the boy who wanted to grow up, to the boy that never will. My tears fell on his face. Trembling I kissed his forehead and got to my feet. I just stared at his lifeless body. I looked around. The lost boys looked at me. I looked at them and then walked past them. None of them followed me. Which was good. I didn't want them too. I walked away from the city. Away from all the noise, smell, everything. I climbed up the same hill overlooking the conurbation. I turned around to face the city and the world. I slowly sat down and just looked down at it. I couldn't contain my small sobs. My brother was no longer a lost boy, God found him, God took him. I was happy. I know death is a part of life, and we all will experience one day. It's a part of "growing up." But oh how I wish that didn't exist. It's as if we all have to pass a test before meeting the Father. It's as if David took the test and failed. However he didn't fail. God needed him. God can make use of David as an Angel. I felt bad though. I never wanted to see David grow up, and now. Now I never will. My tears fell but I was silent. They just flowed from my eyes and I didn't stop them. I held my knees in tight and just sat and let it happen. This toll. Hardship. I'd get through it. The wind blew in my face and my bangs blew with the breeze. However this time, I wasn't pretending to fly. I was pretending it was David. Saying goodbye. Hugging me one last time. As I sat I began to whistle for him. The sweet whistle. I will always remember the way it sounded. I'll always remember, my brother. He's a part of me always. That night, had Wendy still been there, if she would have asked me what is I wanted to be, I would have said.

"David." I spoke out loud. "David!" I shouted.

I then hid my face in my knees, as my world shattered the rest of the world, carried on.


	9. Chapter 8: The Birthday Party

Chapter 8: The Birthday Party

It was now in the mid July. My 13th birthday party finally arrived. My parents didn't think highly of me when I returned late that night with Peter. However they ignored my tardiness for I was happy. Extremely. Peter made me happier than anything else in the world. His smile, his heart, he was a delight. I stood in my mother's room in front of a mirror. My hair was pinned back by a pink bow. My brown curls spiraled down toward my back. My knickers with lace placed just ever so tight on my body. My mother helped me into my gown. It had a hoopskirt toward the bottom and draped and drawn to the back. It had a low neckline and long sleeves. It was floor-sweeping and a lovely shade of salmon pink. It matched my bow rather nicely. My mother added a pink choker around my neck and snugly it added something to my beautiful skin. Upon my ears a pair of diamond earrings, it was the first time ever I would get to wear them. My mother looked at me and smiled. Upon my lips a bright shade of pink, and powder on my face, my mother said she'd never seen such a fine-looking 13 year-old. I smiled brightly at her and picked up my dress.

"Ready?" She asked.

"Ready." I said softly. My mother came down the stairs first. I was next. As I walked down the staircase several of my dear closest friends smiled at me. They were all dressed in their best. Everyone looked like royalty. I believe Her Majesty would be jealous of my dinner party tonight. When I came down the stairs I looked around. It was not a big surprise as to who I was looking for. My Peter. Only, I didn't see him. I looked around once more before being swept away by my friends and family. Among the guests whom I desperately wanted to share my birthday with, he was not there. I looked to the door, more guests were arriving. My father stood proud at the entry and he was taking the jackets of each one as they passed him. I kept hoping to see him. Where was he? I pushed past a couple of my friends and walked over to my father.

"Excuse me, Father?"

"Yes Wendy, are you having a good time?"

"Well yes Father, but have you seen Peter?"

"Peter?" He asked in uttermost concern. "No, no I haven't….besides Wendy; he's not a part of us. He's not in the same class nor is he in the same circle as the rest of your guests. Perhaps he thought it would embarrass him to show up."

"But Father, he said he would come."

"Now Wendy if the boy doesn't want to attend that's his business, in my personal opinion I believe it would be best if he didn't."

I sighed and walked away from the door as Father greeted yet another guest. I saw Michael and John in the middle of the dining room. I walked over to them.

"John?"

He turned.

"You haven't seen Peter have you?"

"No Wendy, in fact I believe Father said something about him not wanting to come."

"Not wanting to-"

I paused briefly and looked around. Still no sign of him. He had to come. I wanted him to come so very badly. I kept thinking to myself, did I do something to offend him? Would he be embarrassed to come? Would he seriously not want to come? No not Peter. Peter was different. He had to come, he just had too.

The night drew on and Peter never showed. It was nine o'clock and dinner was served. My mother led the guests and myself into the dining room. Each of the boys had a girl on his left arm, and the guests were seated alternating by sex, and I took a seat at the head of the table. The dining room was furnished with the utmost care. The chandelier glittered brightly above us. Among the china, we were dinned with truffles, filet of beef, and soup. Served with our feast, we had dinner rolls with sweet cream butter, a variety of jams, jellies and sweet pickles. Fine wine glasses held our hot punch.

The dinner was rather long, but not quiet. Laughter filled the room. The sound of the sliver would cling every so often as the guests had their fill. This party wasn't really what I expected. In fact it wasn't what I expected at all. It was boring, and far too formal. I missed my balloons, and birthday cake. I missed the fun that came with pinning the tail on the donkey. I missed the clown in the corner that now has transitioned into a violin player. Oh how I wish the music would stop. How I wish the guests would go home. I desperately wanted to get out of this dress. It was hot, itchy and uncomfortable. I so wanted Peter to be there. I wanted to see him. He would make everything right. What was I thinking? This was all wrong! So terribly wrong…

I had to do something. I picked up my glass and spoon and gently clanged it against the fine wine. Everyone looked at me.

"The birthday girl is speaking." Someone blurted.

I cleared my throat and smiled.

"Thank you all for coming; I highly thank you for celebrating my birthday with me."

I smiled a little wider, but this smile was fake. I was hurting underneath.

"I hope you all have enjoyed yourselves, and I just want to say that even though I once thought that turning 13 would be lovely, and that turning into a woman would make me beautiful…"

Suddenly without warning, my eyes began to glitter.

"I want to say I was wrong…"

I swallowed hard and my eyes met my mothers.

"I thought I could be like my mother, I wanted to become a mother, and now, Now I'm confused and I'm not sure what I want, but I want you all to leave, I'm sorry…. Truly…"

With that I left the dining hall and ran from the main room, up the stairs into the nursery. I slammed the door behind me. I faced the window hoping to see Peter there. He wasn't. My chest moved ever so slightly as I cried. My tears had ruined my face as the powder disappeared behind my salty tears. I took a stuffed bear from the floor and fell to my knees near the window seat. I looked upon the moon and held the bear to my heart.

"Peter…" I spoke out. "Wherever you are…. Help me…."

I sniffled and my face became distorted as the tears ran. The heat in my face grew as it turned red. I wiped up under my eye only to blink and have the tears fall faster.

"Peter….Oh Peter Pan….please….you see things that nobody else sees…."

I sniffled again and sobbed softly. I hid my face in my arms as I placed my head down on the window seat.

"The hardest part about growing up is letting go of what you were used to and moving on with something you're not…."

As if something hit me hard in my heart, I couldn't move from the window. I didn't want to leave it behind. I was hanging on to the nursery for fear it was the only thing I had left.


	10. Chapter 9: Several Months Later

Chapter 9: Several Months Later

It had been several months since David joined the sky. We learn to cope and carry on back to our old ways. However ever since he left it's been just me going to the bakery. The baker always asks me how I'm doing.

"Ello, Pete'ur, Piper….. How arre ye doin'?

"Fine."

It was always that same answer. However for some reason now when I talk I'm beginning to notice the change in my voice. It's the same as it once was, sometimes, other times, it squeaks without reason. It was happening to me, and there was no way to prevent it. However, I don't think about "it", too much. I gathered up a bag of cookies the bakery offered me, and I took a kettle of hot chocolate. It's starting to get colder here. The air is brittle. The holidays are just around the corner. This shall be our first Christmas without David. As I walked the London streets, and I began to smell the smell of Old England, I began to think about the first Christmas I ever had. I can remember it like it was yesterday. Even though most can't remember back this far, I can. As I said from the very beginning I believe I had a mother, and a father. I can remember a Christmas of her holding me. Her hair curly and unkempt. She had such beautiful mousy brown hair. I remember I could see the Christmas tree behind her head. Faintly I remember my father walking in behind her. They both just stopped and stared at me. That's all I can remember. It's a faint memory, but a good one. Christmas is the birthday of one of my favorite characters in the book I like to read of the scripture. I always thought, that any present I got on that morn, was for him. I know it's wrong but sometimes on Christmas Eve I would always wish I were dead so I can personally see Him and tell him thank you. Christmas is also the time for family. I'm glad for the family I have. We do give gifts to each other. However these gifts are never store bought. We don't have money for things like that, but no amount of money can replace or buy what we give to each other. We give special gifts to one another. The thought of that made me smile. I entered the apartment quietly and brushed the sleet from my hair and dusted my jacket. Before I had time to call the boys they ran right to me, and took the food away. Hungry little gits. I smiled and walked over to the window seat. The window was closed today. As cold as it is outside, we need all the heat on the inside as we can get. I just sat on the window seat and looked out.

The snow began to fall. The snow outside was always beautiful no matter how cold it was. It was a gift from God. The wind and the winter meant that soon things would enter rebirth. Meaning children would be born into the world, children who have their whole lives ahead of them. I smiled and took out my pan flute and began to play an old favorite of mine. "Wendy Bird." How I do miss Wendy. Her birthday was several months ago. I hope she can forgive me for not going. It's not that I didn't want to; it was just that going to a fancy dinner sounds a little to mature for me. Every year on my birthday, I go to the gardens, and I thank God for letting me make it to another year. I know it sounds a little silly, that I don't want to grow up but thank God for allowing me to do so. I believe that life is what you make it, and if you forget about the fact that you're growing for just a second and just think about being happy to be alive, you can live a better life. I celebrate my birthday with the lost boys by doing whatever it is we want. Eating whatever we want. Wearing whatever we want. For that birthday will come again, but it won't be the same as the last. Everything you do in life, it doesn't matter if it's re-occurring, and in life things don't happen the same way twice. I'm happy to just live life. Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so we must love the people who treat us right, forget the ones that don't and believe everything happens for a reason. If we get the chance we need to take it, if it changes use we need to let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. Live simply, Love generously. Care deeply, speak kindly and enjoy your life. I hope Wendy had a wonderful birthday without me. She seemed different when I left her. Proud, happy, and content. She seemed as if she was ready to grow up. However, she wasn't about to leave her child imagination behind, even though she was ready.

I haven't seen her in quite some time. I do miss her. However I did my part. I saved her from herself. I felt as if she didn't need to see me anymore. As I pondered this thought I noticed a woman outside by a gas lamp. She was carrying several pots in a bag on her back. I became transfixed on her. I wiped the fog from the window so I could see well. Under the frost, beneath the falling snow, she suddenly fainted. She needed help. I jumped from the window seat leaving the flute behind me.

"Where are you going Peter?"

"Going Peter?"

It was the twins.

"I'll be back I promise."

There it was that awful squeak in the middle of promise. I shook my head in disgust as I raced outside. She was still lying there. No one was helping her. I ran right over to her and turned her over to face me. She was unconscious. I looked at her face. It was so beautiful. She had porcelain skin, and fair golden brown hair. Wavy and long. I stared long and hard at her face. She had the face of an Angel. I couldn't take my eyes of her. I slowly bent down toward her face. I ran my finger down the side of her cheek. It was cold from the snow but soft and smooth. I touched her lip. I felt the strong urge to kiss it. I never felt that way before. It was strange. So very strange. I've never felt this before, for anyone. The snow began to fall slowly over her. I wiped it away. Some of the snow fell on my hair and my eyelashes. I would blink the frozen dandruff away. I smiled at her. I took off my jacket rather quickly and draped it over her. I then got her to her feet and placed one of her arms on around my neck. I carried her back to the apartment. When I entered all of the lost boys gathered around us.

"Who is that Peter?" Slightly asked.

"Yeah who is that?" Curly asked after Slightly.

I carried her over to the window seat and laid her down.

"I don't know." I replied. "Get that blanket over there would you?"

Curly walked over to a small chair and took the blanket from it. When he handed it to me, the woman began to awaken. I covered her up with both my jacket and the blanket.

"Where…" She began.

"Ssh." I commanded. "We'll take care of you."

She looked at me and the others and slowly drifted back to sleep. I ran a hand in her hair. It was so soft. I smiled, and patted her head. Later that evening I had a fire going. I had it glowing bright. Its embers danced around in the small fireplace. It let off a bright orange aura in the room. I was the only one awake at this point. It was night fall and the snow was still escaping the clouds outside. I held my hands out to fire for warmth when suddenly my jacket was being held out to me. I turned and took it from the woman. She smiled.

"Thank you." She said softly.

I smiled and pulled my jacket back up. She took a seat in front of the fire. This creature was so lovely. The light captured her well. She had an aura about her. I could sense it. I took a seat next to her and just stared at her. She was so elegant. Nothing can really compare to her beauty or her inner beauty. She smiled at me. Her teeth as white as the snow outside, she was an Angel I tell you.

"What's your name, love?" She asked.

"Peter." I replied.

"I'm Margaret."

Lovely, I thought.

"But don't call me that."

"Well…what should I call you?"

She gave a smile again. I smiled and blushed this time.

"You can call me Tink."

"Tink?" I questioned with a laugh. She covered my mouth and laughed herself.

"You'll wake up the other boys."

I nodded.

"Why Tink?" I whispered.

"I tinker with pots and other materials, I sometimes work in the big factories, and people don't call me by my real name there."

I stared at her. She was young, perhaps 16, and yet here she was working.

"Tink…you never have to work there again."

She looked at me her curls moved with the head turn.

"You have a home here….with me." I said slowly.

She smiled. I smiled with a blush. She blushed back at me.

"Thanks for helping me." Tink said with a smile.

"You're welcome."

"Tink, can I show you something?"

She nodded. I got to my knees and pulled her over to window. I opened it. The snow was falling softly now. The city was a little quieter. As she looked out at the window, I noticed something about her, something about her that was different than any other human being. She wasn't looking at the city. She was looking out at the landscape in the distance.

"I love the view….I love how the world is so never-ending out there."

I smiled.

She understood. She then looked at the sky. As she looked up I began to play a song on the flute. Something different. Something that just magically came to me. She turned to face me. She gave a smile as I played. I smiled slightly as I blew. She walked over to me and I backed up towards the wall as I kept blowing. Her smile grew. I suddenly stopped playing as she touched my chest.

"That was beautiful Peter?" She said staring with loving eyes. "What do you call it?"

"Tinkerbell." I said breathless. She grinned. "Wouldn't you love to live life with wings Tink?" I asked.

She grinned wider.

"I believe you are who you choose to be and I live life with wings all the time."

She understood so much. In that moment I knew I was meant to find her. She was meant to find me. Slowly she leaned in toward me and pecked my lips. I couldn't just leave it at that. I was afraid but I slowly kissed her back, passionately. She hugged me tightly and I hugged her. It was hug we both needed. Without David she was something I definitely needed. I wouldn't be alone this Christmas and neither would she.


	11. Chapter 10: Christmas Day

Chapter 10: Christmas Day

Despite Peter missing my birthday, I was happy again. For it was Christmas Day. My brothers and I were singing in the church this morning. In the middle of O Holy Night, my mind began to drift. I began to have visions of Peter. I was suddenly taken back to that day on the hill. Instead of the white blanket that covers it now, I remember the grassy pasture. The fresh flowers, the sun beating down on us. The heat of it. I remember his voice:

"Come on Wendy…what do you want to be?!" he shouted.

"When I grow up?" I shouted back.

"No!" he shouted. He suddenly fell over backwards and rolled around in the grass. Oh he was so handsome. With a laugh he said:

"I mean… what do you want to be right now?"

As I tried to think, I remember me saying:

"Anything?"

"Anything!" he shouted.

He was such a free spirit that I no longer cared about his absence at my party. He had places to go to and people to see. I couldn't nail his feet to the floor if I tried. As I turned from the choir they finished O Holy Night, and began singing The First Noel. I mouthed the words as I watched the snow fall outside. It was so beautiful. This Christmas was so wonderful. I kept hoping that Peter was having a wonderful time wherever he was. As the vision of Peter clouded my mind, we left Church the songs echoing in my head. My father and mother thought we could play in the snow a bit before going home.

"BARK!"

Nana followed behind us, her paws leaving prints in the snow. I let out a laugh. I felt more like a child again. I took Michael and John by the hand and we slid on the ice. The snow fell fast, and hard. My blue London fog was now speckled in the white specks. I looked up at the sky, and smiled. The snow touched my face. I felt the way I did when I was with Peter. Happy and free, but I was not yet content. I knew that I must grow up someday, but if I must I want Peter to be there. I could never let that go. What a wonderful husband he would make. Not to mention father. The way he talks of children, it seemed right. Our parents took us to Kensington Gardens. The statues, they were glowing against the snow. The water, the small pond now a small patch of ice made the garden a winter wonderland. Trees overlooked the garden, covered in one large white blanket that was getting bigger.

"Alright, 10 minutes… Don't want you to catch a cold." My father spoke out.

My brothers and I didn't give him enough time to get it out as we took off running and laughing.

"Wendy!" My mother yelled. "Watch your brothers!"

I took Michael and John by the hand and we slid and rolled in the snow.

"Come on Michael let's have a snowball fight!" John shouted. I smiled as John picked up Michael from the snow. John took one step back and threw a snowball at Michael. Michael let out a squeal and threw one back. John chuckled and I gave a giggle as they threw snowballs at one another.

"Watch out Wendy!"

I screamed as Michael threw a snowball at me, missing John.

"Sorwee Wendy." Michael said with a frown.

"That's alright." I said with a smile and threw a snow ball at John.

"Hey!" He shouted. Michael and I laughed at the same time. They continued their snowball fight as I walked over to the small pond. I took one look back at them. They were laughing, and playing the way good children do. My smile slowly faded as I began to think of the future. I so wanted Peter in it. I looked down at the pond and without any skates I took one step on it. I closed my eyes and began to place my other foot forward when someone had me by my arms. I quickly opened my eyes and turned my head to some extent. Standing behind me, holding me ever so delicately, Peter smiled brightly.

"Peter…" I whispered.

With his breath close and his mouth near my ear he whispered:

"Hello Wendy…"

His voice had changed. A little lower than I remember. He was growing too, like me. He turned me to face him.

"Did you miss me?" He asked.

I nodded with a smile. He held his hand to me. I slowly took it. He grasped my fingers very gently and pulled me on to the ice. I slipped and fell into his chest. He laughed.

"At least you didn't forget how to live Wendy…."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and he stared into my eyes. I smiled and blushed.

"Happy Christmas Peter." I said softly.

"Happy Christmas Wendy."

I smiled and swooned over his voice. I leaned into kiss him when suddenly something pulled me back. I screamed as I fell over backwards.

"Wendy!" He screamed.

As I hit the ice on my bum, I squealed and looked at a girl towering over me. Peter laughed and held his hand to me.

"Wendy, this is Tink."

This girl, this woman smirked at me and placed her hand in Peter's. It didn't seem to bother him. He interlocked his fingers with hers.

I dusted myself off and placed my hand out in the open.

"I'm Wendy, Wendy Mo-"

"Wendy's enough." Tink blurted out.

I lowered my hand and glared at her.

"I hope I didn't break anything…" Tink said with a smirk.

"You're alright Wendy, Tink was only playing."

Tink smiled at Peter and kissed his cheek. I gasped softly to myself. I bit my lip and stared at Peter.

"What is it?" Peter questioned.

My eyes began to glitter. I tried to stay firm and strong.

"Wendy, what is it?"

Suddenly I felt a tear leave my right eye, as Tink continued to kiss Peter's cheek. He smiled at me as if everything was alright. But things were far from alright. I stomped my foot and almost slipped again. Peter gave out a laugh and then cleared his throat. I stormed away.

"Wendy!" He shouted. "Wait!"

I didn't look back.

"Stop it Tink, I'll be back." I heard Peter say. Still I did not look back. Peter caught up to me and turned me to face him. I was fully crying now, and I didn't care if I cried in front of him.

"Wendy…" He said softly. "What's the problem, I thought we could play together."

I pulled away from him.

"Play!" I shouted. "Peter, what are you doing?"

He looked confused.

"I… Thank you for teaching me that I can hang on to my childhood, but you missed my birthday party, at my party I was so confused because of you….Trapped between this girl inside my heart and the woman on the outside…."

"I don't understand, what do you mean?"

"You're life is a fairy-tale."

He looked down.

"It's not reality… We all grow up Peter….All of us…"

"Not me…"

"Even you!" I shouted.

More tears flooded my eyes.

"This is not reality Peter….in your head…. Do you even know what you are?"

"A boy." He replied.

"You're a scared little child, you have no family…. And that woman…Tink is it?" I yelled. "I want to be a mother Peter…."

"Fine then go be one I'm not stopping you."

He turned and I took in a breath before shouting:

"Yes you are, I love you!"

He stopped and I watched his shoulders move as he took in a breath.

"It's true…I love you…. I love you…."

"Wendy…."

He turned slowly and walked back over to me and his face came close to mine.

"I can't love you do you understand!"

"I can see that, because you have Tink or whatever her name is."

His fist clenched and his teeth gritted.

"But she's an orphan too!"

He turned from me.

"You can't live life with wings all the time…. It's a fairy-tale…You're a fairy-tale!"

"You don't even know me Wendy!" He shouted. "Okay, you have your parents, and yet you still get a fancy roof over your head, a nice warm bed and a live of luxury….you're life is a fairy-tale…. And sometimes….."

He's breath was close to me. The fog leaving his mouth as he spoke, I stared deeply into his eyes.

"Sometimes people try to expose what's wrong with you, because they can't handle what's right about you…"

He slowly backed away I could see his eyes glittering.

"Dry your tears child, life is too short for so much sorrow. This is my life Wendy, this is all I have ever known, but I don't want to know anything else….but I'll have you know I have a family… I have more than you could ever hope to have, because I don't worry about the future, I live in the present."

I looked down.

"The truth is Wendy; I've never seen anything quite like you." I looked back up. "You're special Wendy… You're special…. I see greatness in you… I see you as one of those people that will grow up, but you'll always have time to play, your babies are going to look up to you and when they do, they'll have a friend…someone that can relate to them…because I tried to put that in your head so many years ago, that's what you're going think… but I can't love you Wendy… To love you would be to give up what I love for who I love…"

His hand trembled as he ran it through my hair. He was crying now.

"There's a reason I don't think about being an orphan, reason I don't think about the future, about growing up…. Because when I start to think about it I lose myself, I lose a part of myself….I don't want to lose myself Wendy…"

"Peter…"

He looked down barely able to keep the tears away.

"Go Wendy….I'm sorry If I hurt you…or whatever it is I did….go…Grow up….life your life….but please don't kill the child sitting on your heart…. please…."

"Wendy!"

Peter and I looked up. My father was calling me. I looked at Peter.

"Peter…"

"Just go Wendy."

"Peter…"

"Go."

I slowly hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"I'll keep my childhood alive I promise… I will always be who I choose to be…" I whispered.

I touched his face, and kissed him. The kiss was wet as his tears ran down his face.

"WENDY!" My father shouted.

I looked at Peter and slowly picked up my dress and left him standing in the snow. After that Christmas Day, I never saw Peter again. However I never stopped living my life without wings either. Peter said I was special. He was special. He had a way of doing things. That day I left I could never understand what he meant when he said; he couldn't love me, because to love me would be to give up what he loved for who he loved. I understood this a little later. If he would have loved me, he would have been forced to grow up and live with me. He would become a father. I never had a doubt in my mind that he wouldn't make a great father, but I understood why he didn't want to. He is always on the outside looking in. However that is what he chooses. I believe that if he were to have the life I have, he would have to surrender. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it. Peter believed the secret to having everything is realizing you already do. He told me that day he did have a family, he had everything I had, maybe more. He had his childhood still with him. He had his imagination, his love for the sky, and his love for God. That's what he wanted to have. I was proud of him. He was so very special. I finally understood what it meant to live life with wings. I fly all the time in my heart. I'm hoping one day I'll be able to fly with Peter again. For we should never say goodbye to childhood. For when we say goodbye we are leaving it behind, and when we leave it behind, we forget it. We should never forget. Someday when we're older and are skin is worn and our hair is grey, we can still make time to play. When we float away, we can still play. From the time God made us, he had us planned out, and from the time we return to him, he will remember us for what we were. Children. We are all God's children. In our hearts and minds we will always be children. Our entire lives are made up of being that. We start out like that, and we end like that. When we enter the light, on the second star to the right, we remember we never have to grow up. For all children do, except…. One. May we follow the angel anywhere. I will follow Peter anywhere, for to me, only Angels live forever, and only angels live among us to spread happiness, Angels have wings, Peter's are just invisible.


	12. Chapter 11: The Angel

Chapter 11: The Angel

Wendy slowly hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"I'll keep my childhood alive I promise… I will always be who I choose to be…" she whispered.

She then touched my face, and kissed me. The kiss was wet, I tried to stop crying but I could not.

"WENDY!" Her father shouted.

She looked at me and quickly picked up her dress and left me standing in the snow. As she left a breeze hit me in the face. However this breeze meant nothing. I no longer cared for flying, or for anything. Sadly the breeze was just a breeze a painful breeze. For the harsh reality that is growing up was now right there in the open. I couldn't get the thoughts to go away. I bit my lip and hid it from the cold. A tear ran down my cheek and about froze to my face. I took in a breath and the fog left my mouth. I wiped my face and walked back over to Tink.

"Peter?" She said with concern. "Are you alright?"

I nodded.

"You look upset…"

"No…Life is too short to get upset Tink."

However as I spoke my voice trembled. The tears left my body.

"You ready to go home?"

She held her hand out to me, I just stared at her.

"I'll be a long." I spoke out.

She smiled and touched my shoulder leaving me in the snow covered garden. We were back to where we started. All my life I never really thought about how alone I really was. Not many thought the way I did, not many lived the way I did. Perhaps Tink did, but at the moment I didn't know. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and looked up.

"I think I should go home." I said softly. I walked down the London streets. Memory after memory hitting my mind. David's whistle came to my head, and I began to whistle it before stopping by the church. I could hear Silent Night being sung by a choir or woman. They sounded like Angels. I walked past the church up to a small house. Inside this house, was a small boy's room. Inside this house is where I lived. Inside this house is where I left it all behind. I walked up the steps. The vacant house was falling apart. No sign of life anywhere. I took a step back. I couldn't enter. No matter how badly I wanted to. I bit my lip again.

"Happy Christmas…Mum… Dad…." I said it slowly and softly. Like the scared child Wendy said I was, I was a small little boy that missed his parents. Tears ran down my face as I took step away and walked away from my home for the second time in my young life. I kept walking. Street carolers walked up and down the street. People asking for money, and food could be heard in the distance. A man dressed as Father Christmas would ring a small bell and hold out a pot. I kept walking. In the alley way a rat scurried away. Suddenly I was in the middle of the city. I began to learn the true meaning of alone. I had remembered I am a child. One that is lost in the world. No matter how hard I have tried to keep that away. There was no denying that I would have to grow up, I would have to surrender. I began to get dizzy with the thoughts and fell over in the snow. Crying I began to make a snow Angel in the snow. I laid in the middle of my Angel and just stared at the sky. The snow falling on my face. It was so cold. So very cold. My face was red and my tears were frozen to my face. I sniffled and just looked the clouds. I wanted to be a part of them.

"I'll live life with wings, always." I whispered. "I'll live life with wings!" I shouted.

I stood and looked at the sky.

"I"LL LIVE LIFE WITH WINGS!"

I then fell back over into my Angel and shut my eyes. My tears still ran.

Later that evening, I could hardly move. Hardly see. Suddenly I felt as if I was being lifted. When I opened my eyes, Tink was holding my hand. I tried to move but I felt paralyzed. I was suddenly trembling all over. I couldn't get the shakes to stop. A blanket was draped over me but even that didn't stop the chill. The Lost boys were staring at me. Tink placed a hand on my forehead. Her hand was warm and I closed my eyes against the heat of it.

"You're burning up Peter." She said.

I was? I had fever and I didn't even know it. As the days passed I began to get worse. Ever since Christmas Day I began to show more and more signs of it. Pneumonia. I couldn't stop coughing. Each day was worse than the next. However even though I was sick, I still played with the Lost Boys, I talked long hours with Tink, and I was whatever I chose to be. I was living life with wings, and nothing was to stop me. Nothing.


	13. Epilogue

Thank you for those that stuck with this story if you did. It was just something on my mind and in my heart. This epilogue will conclude this story. I thank you for viewing it if you did, hope you enjoyed. Much love,- Cadence D

Epilogue

Several Months passed, and Peter soon became an Angel. That is what in his heart he always chose to be. He entered a world where he could always be a child. A world where growing up did not exist. For Peter, or all children, when the time has come to fly and we must leave and take wind. When we leave the nest, and grow up, we must remember that our childhood meant something. That we lived life to the fullest. When the time has come to fly and we must leave and take wind, and find the land that faith will bring, we must remember that as those children just in adult bodies our lives meant something. Tink grew up to be a school teacher and she told stories of her and Peter. The lost boys went to school and each became fine husbands. For even though we do grow up, we don't in our hearts. Peter taught us that life is what you make it. You do not have to give up your childhood to fit in, in society. You are who you choose to be. As if the room got darker the choices were placed out in front of us, either hurt or be hurt. Things change, people leave, life doesn't stop for anybody and in life there's nothing interesting about being perfect. If we can forget that life would be a little better. That's what Peter taught us. We are all humans, all humans grow up the same way no matter where they come from, or who they live with. Everyone has a family of some kind. We all breathe the same air, and bleed the same blood.

Everyone is beautiful, and full of purpose and light. No matter how hard life gets for us, no matter what kind of storm approaches in our hearts, things will be alright, it might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever. We are all children from the time we are born and the time we leave. We can play anytime we want. Playing just means more love, love for the sky, and love for God, but most importantly love for each other. Peter understood this, and he tried to share that with the world, and the world responded with Wendy and Tink, and in the Lost Boys. That message will live on through their children and their children after that for generations to come. For all children that are just adults are unique, priceless and a gift to the world.

Everyone has wings upon their heart. Those wings will help us fly to the Never-Ending land in the sky. Those wings should never be forgotten. "Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting."

"Live Life with wings always."


End file.
